Being there and turning up...

Cavorting around the Scottish Highlands

Wake up the kids at dawn,

Muffle sleepy protests,

Scramble up breakfast,

Pack lunch boxes,

Hunt for the missing tie,

Sign a clutch of forms,

Keep track of parent-teacher meets,

Pick up kids after soccer,

Get haircuts done,

Stick a Spiderman plaster on a bruise,

Make sure the soap reaches behind the ears...

These are a few of the gazillion things parents do everyday, little things that make the kiddy world go around... tick, tock, tick, tock...a crazy zillion things that make our lives work. That's what I call experiential parenting - the being there variety, where you are pickled in the rich flavours of everyday experiences, some sweet, some salty, some sour, some bitter, some savoury, but rich nonetheless. Then, there are these...

Turn up for sports days,
Turn up for music concerts, 
Turn up for annual days,

Turn up for graduation ceremonies...

These are the big moments, where parents just turn up. That's what I call milestone parenting - the turning up variety, where you mark the bright and shiny milestones, the big moments, the crown jewels in kiddy world.

Needless to say, while I did most of the gazillion everyday things, my other half mostly just turned up, often leaving me feeling rather miffed. Why do I have to do all the teeny weeny things and you just get to turn up to squeals of delight from the kids? It's probably easier for kids to remember the shining milestones, when parents showed up at the most memorable highlights of their life. They stand out, they shine bright, peppering memories of fast receding childhoods. 

Yet, I have a sneaky feeling that although they tend to dim with age, memories of the gazillion little things...the early morning wake up calls, the chats in the car after soccer, the vigorous scrubbing of dirty feet, the sticking of the Spiderman plaster...will wrap kids in their diffused warmth, and cast a long, soft glow over fast receding childhoods.

And finally, I throw a forgiving, exhausted glance at my partner...never mind who did what, the everyday and the milestones came together pretty nicely after all...